There is so much to unpack from the last decade, and probably far longer, that it is impossible to decide on a proper starting point. It seems more fitting to look forward and set goals, with a view to look at how I got to where I am now.
10 years of addiction and destructive behaviour seems like a chaotic dream; a collage of images and emotions jumbled together in a way no craftsman would choose. So why have I chosen to endure it all for this long? Like much of my life, it seems completely paradoxical that I can value logic and reasoning so profoundly and yet still choose the unpredictable, risky and often unexplainable path.
I have often thought about writing it all down, but then convinced myself it was wasted time until it was all finished. It didnt seem like there was much point drawing on my experiences until I had sapped all of the wisdom out of them that I could. Ultimately, this is a race that doesn’t reach completion, so I have to start sometime.
DAY 1! How many times have I called a fresh start. More than once is the answer. What makes this time different? A million things and nothing. My goals for the next year are to break my addictive behaviours, treat Emma the way she deserves to be treated, and be able to run 10 miles without stopping.
Shit, commitment! Scary, huh. I guess now that it’s written down I have something to chase.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Addicted To Life 